You Are Never Angry For the Reason You Think You Are (Tips from a Divorce Lawyer on How to Stay Married)
My son was still smarting this morning from the lecture he got from his mom for playing computer games last night. I told him that his mom is not angry at him and she just wants the best for him. So he should not let it get to him. Then I told him some stories to illustrate my advice.
The People Manager
I have a friend who has 200 employees reporting to him. I call him whenever I have a staff problem.
He tells me that when his employees have a problem at work, the reason they give usually turns out not to be the real reason.
For example, Jane is complaining that she does not feel appreciated. Upon further investigation, he learns that Jane has just broken up with her boyfriend.
The Little Old Lady
A lawyer is in a hurry to get to court via the subway system in DC. He pushes his way onto the crowded car. As the doors close and he pulls away from the station, he sees his briefcase sitting on the bench outside the car where he left it.
When he exits the car, a little old lady in tennis shoes is walking up the escalator in front of him. She stops and bends over to tie her shoelace.
He kicks her and mutters to himself, “little old ladies. Always tying their tennis shoes.”
The Restaurant Manager
There is a restaurant manager I know who deals with complaints this way: When he is called to a table, he imagines the patron has a gun pointed at him and the complaints are bullets.
Bang! “The coffee is cold.”
He leans to the right and the bullet passes over his left shoulder. It missed! “Yes, sir, I’ll get you a fresh cup right away.”
Bang! “And the bread is too.”
He leans to the left. Another miss. “We’ll bring you some warm bread.”
You are Never Upset for the Reason You Think You Are
A Course in Miracles says you are never upset (or angry or fill in the emotion) for the reason you think you are. So when someone is upset or angry with you, don’t take it personally. They are probably just mad because they left their briefcase at the station.