Fathers’ Rights and the Judge

Sometimes you can do everything right for fathers’ rights. You can have the best client, a father who cares for his child, who can provide the resources for home, education and the best upbringing for the child.

You have funding for legal fees. You can obtain the right witnesses. You can hire the private investigator. Your psychologist can testify the father is the best parent to have custody. You can win the recommendation of the custody evaluator.

You can develop the theme of your case. You can prepare well for trial. You can create a trial notebook with opening and closing statements, questions for each witness and a list of exhibits cross-indexed to the witnesses.

You can conduct the trial flawlessly, eliciting correct answers on direct examination, devastating opposing witnesses on cross examination, and winning on every objection.

But there is one wild card you cannot control and that is the judge. The judge is the final decision maker on custody. It is supposed to be based on best interests of the child. But that means only what the judge thinks.

And the judge is human. Judges are not trained in social work or family relations or
psychotherapy. We do not give them lie detectors. Judges see the evidence through their own particular filters based on their own life experiences. Do we ever know how a judge felt about his own mother or father? They are not even required to be right – only to make a decision. Of all the parties and participants in the case, they have the least contact with the child.

So sometimes you can do everything right.

And still lose.

2 replies
  1. Tom S.
    Tom S. says:

    I have had the worst judge I can imagine in my divorce case. Aside from a truly obvious prejudice the man clearly had cognitive mental disability – to such a degree I brought him before the COLORADO judicial review committee. Yea what a total joke that turned out to be (he was a “good ole boy” prepping for retirement).

    HOWEVER the simple truth remains he would never have been a factor if it wasn’t for the insanity of my ex-wife. We can never forget that the ultimate responsibility for the damage to all these children lies with the person that dragged the matter into the court room to begin with. The person that lacked capacity to execute simple adult responsibility to deal with the other adult – blaming the damage on judges, while totally justified and true, is just a stop gap.

    The people to be held truly accountable (Parental Alienation should be criminalized just as a pedophile – for it is the raping of a child’s mind vs their body) is the parent that would proactively and intentionally turn a child against the other parent. THEY ARE THE TRUE WILD ONES, AND THEY ARE OUT THERE ON THE LOOSE!!

  2. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    This is my worst fear and situation! In my case, we were never married, but i can and do provide all of those things the initial blog stated. I get to see my daughter only one day a week and everyother weekend. And this was a verbal agreement but I believe i need more time with my child. Especially since her mom never grew up with a male influence in her household or even immidiate circle, she can not “TRULY” understand what it means to have a capable father who wants to be able to do more for his child.

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