My good friend, Pat Seaver (Patricia J. Seaver, MSW, LICSW, www.4positivetransitions.com), thought I should offer something more upbeat about coping with divorce, especially during the holidays. Her comments follow:
“Divorce can take a serious emotional, physical, and psychological toll on you. It is common for people in divorce to focus on anger, resentment, anxiety and other negative emotions. Attempting to counter-balance the deleterious effects of the divorce process can help you move forward and achieve a stronger sense of yourself and your future.
Here is an exercise to help preserve a sense of well-being, optimism and balance. Becoming aware of what you have and not just what you have lost is very powerful.
You need a notebook and pen beside your bed.
Every night, just prior to going to sleep, record in your notebook three moments in which you felt happy that day. These do not have to be defining or cataclysmic moments. For example: ‘I loved the warmth of the sun on my face as I walked to my office,’ or, ‘My manager at work praised my report,’ or, ‘My roommate from college called and will be in town for dinner together next week,’ or, ‘Today I walked a mile and ate a healthful dinner.’
Research has shown that after as little as two weeks your dreams will become more positive and your mood improved. Continue doing this exercise. Reread your previous notes. Focusing on what is positive in your daily routine has a healing, empowering effect.”