How Long Will My Divorce Take?

The first thing you need to understand is that lawyer time is not the same thing as real people time.  Have you ever had your lawyer tell you “I’ll call you back in five minutes”?

Then you wait hours for the call back.

Courts are on lawyer time, too.  Judges used to be lawyers.  Ask a Judge for an emergency or expedited hearing.  He or she thinks you mean in three to six months.

One reason is the courts are overcrowded.   Too many people are fighting over money, the house, the 401(k), and the kids.   We have decided to resolve these disputes through divorce.

The church used to handle divorces but now we let the judges do it.    And the same judges still hear all the other non-divorce cases.

The truth is there are just not enough judges to hear all of the cases.   We have not bought enough robes.  We also have not built enough of those little red brick courthouses in the town squares to try all the cases.

So we schedule several trials at the same time, like airplanes circling above an airport for an open runway.

And many of these cases will settle before trial.   Maybe on the day of trial.  We call that a settlement on the courthouse steps.

Divorce Is a Process Not an Event. 

Divorce is not a hundred-meter dash.  It is more like a marathon.  It usually starts with an exchange of financial information and attempts to settle through negotiation, mediation, Collaborative Law or some other means of reaching a marital settlement agreement.  If you settle, we file a Complaint for Divorce.  We ask the court for an uncontested divorce hearing.  At the hearing we tell the judge that everything has been decided.  All you need the judge to do is issue the Judgment of Divorce.

If you are unable to settle everything, you are going to have to try your case before a judge and let the judge decide.

I divide the trial process into three parts:  Initial Pleadings, Discovery, and Trial    Settlement discussions proceed simultaneously with the litigation process. A case could settle at any time.

Deadlines

Meanwhile, my client, who is on real time, is losing patience and insists on giving their spouse a deadline..  My client wants to give his ex a deadline to respond to his discovery request and settlement proposal but what happens if she refuses to respond by that date?  The answer is nothing.  Deadlines are useless if they have no teeth in them.

The Court’s deadlines are a different matter.  The Judge has sanctions.  Miss a Court deadline and the Judge can hold you in contempt of Court, assess attorney’s fees against you, prevent you from presenting  evidence, and even put you in jail.  The Judge can also refer the matter to the State Bar which can suspend you from the practice of law or disbar you altogether.

The rules of Court provide certain deadlines for responding to pleadings such as motions and discovery.  However, before you can file a Motion to compel discovery, you must first make a good faith attempt to discuss and resolve discovery disputes with the other side.  You also have to file an Affidavit with your Motion acknowledging that you have made such efforts and they have not been successful.

Last Word

We think that if we talk and talk and talk, the other side will eventually get it.

IF only we can explain it to our spouse enough, they will slap their palm to their forehead and say “Oh, now I understand.”

But it doesn’t work that way.

The way to a settlement is to find out what the other side wants and needs.

And you do that by asking questions and listening to the answers.