There’s An App for That

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The law firm of Cordell and Cordell has published a free app for iPhone and iPad called Men’s Divorce Source Lite.

The screen shot shows Goals and articles on Advice, Child Custody, Finances, Parental Alienation, Child Support and Alimony.

GizMagazine.Com has a description and screen shots of other handy divorce apps that, for a nominal cost, can help with your divorce.

/by James J. Gross

Morning Inspection

I am now the morning parent for our two beamish boys, ages 8 and 12.  If your house is anything like mine, no matter how early you wake up, or how organized you are the night before, there is a rush at the last minute to organize book bags, musical instruments, shoes, glasses, lunches and other things.   Several times, we have left things at home that had to be ferried to school later.

I might have stumbled upon a system that works.  Ten minutes before we leave, I call an “Inspection”.  The boys stand in formation at attention.  I go through the checklist: Teeth brushed?  Check.  Hair combed?  Check.  Book bags packed?  Check.  And so on.

The penalty for missing something is 5 pushups.  Get down and count them out, mister.

They can also get pushup credits for doing something extra.  The first day one of the boys made his bed.  The next day they were fighting over who was going to make the beds.  One of them gave his brother five of his pushup credits.  So I gave him five more for being so generous.

This is working out well so far.  Both boys completed inspection perfectly this morning.  We’ll see how long it lasts.  Let me know in the comments if you try it and what success you have.

/by James J. Gross

Psycho Ex Wife

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42-year-old Anthony Morelli, of Pennsylvania, set up a blog in 2007 to chronicle the details of his divorce and custody battle with Allison.  He called it Thepyschoexwife.com.  Since then it has attracted more than 200,000 followers a month, many of them venting about their exes as well.

Family Court Judge Diane Gibbons, however, took a dim view of the blog, especially since the couple has two sons, ages 10 and 12.  She ordered Morelli to shut down the site.

In its place, Morelli has set up Savethepyschoexwife.com, to raise legal fees to challenge the judge’s ruling on freedom of speech grounds.  He has already received over $5,000 in contributions.

Source:  Maggie Flecknoe, fox26medford.com

/by James J. Gross

Schwarzenegger Says No Alimony

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Arnold Schwarzenegger does not agree that he should have to pay alimony or attorney fees for Maria Shriver according to divorce pleadings filed by his attorney in response to her complaint for divorce.

The pleadings may not make much difference if the couple settles out of court.

Both parties are asking the court for joint custody of their sons, age 17 and 13.  Child support will also have to be addressed in the settlement.

Source:  Bakersfieldnow.com

/by James J. Gross

Overnight Guests During Visitation

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Father’s Rights for a Sleepover?

Dorene and Richard Ward of Georgia were divorced in March of 2007 and Richard was awarded primarily physical custody of the parties’ two children.

In 2008, Dorene filed an action to obtain sole custody of the children.  She lost and the court amended her visitation to provide that she “shall not have any overnight male guests while the minor children are present.”

Dorene appealed contending that this provision was overbroad, because on its face it prohibits her from having her father, a brother, a new spouse, or even the children’s father spend the night at her house while the minor children are present.

The appeals court agreed.  It said a trial court has discretion to place restrictions on custodial parents’ behavior that will harm their children.  While the trial court could limit visitation if it finds that the children would be adversely affected if any boyfriends of Dorene spent the night with her, the restriction against “any overnight male guests” would prohibit Dorene from having visitors with whom she has no romantic relationship and for whom the record does not support a finding of any harmful effect on her children.

Ward v. Ward, No. S11A0437 (Georgia Supreme Court, May 31, 2011)

/by James J. Gross

Older Dads

There is an emerging brotherhood of men in their 40s, 50s or 60s, according to the Tucson Citizen, who are raising young children.  Some of them have adult children and grandchildren as well.  They can get the senior discount and the child’s discount at the same place.

Many men in the Baby Boomers generation married young, worked hard and built their careers.  Then they got divorced and may have remarried a younger spouse who wanted children.

“These men are doing it the second time around, often with women half their age,” says Michael Kimmel, a sociologist at Stony Brook University in Stony Brook, N.Y. He calls the phenomenon “serial paternity.”  For some this is an opportunity to repeat their child-rearing experiences, and in some cases, to get it right the second time.

The men interviewed said it was worth it, even with sleepless nights and cranky kids.  Most have more time, more patience and more financial resources than when they were younger.

Health was a concern.  Most of the fathers said they exercise regularly to keep up with their kids.

/by James J. Gross

Half Birthday Parties

You know how kids like to add a half year to their age, like saying “I’m five and a half years  old”?  If your access schedule has every other birthday or no birthdays with your child, Orr General Store for Parents suggests throwing a half-birthday party.

The website says, “Half birthday parties can be even more fun that the regular party.  You bake half a cake.  If you’re not a baker, buy the cake and cut it in half.  Sing half of the birthday song or every other word.  Fill the cups half full.  You’ll think of lots of things to make it a special half birthday party.  As your child grows older it will become a funnier party because the child can add their own half touches.”

And there is even a website where you can find all the party supplies you need to throw a half birthday.

/by James J. Gross

Public Favors Equal Custody

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Equal Father’s Rights and Mother’s Rights

In a new study at Arizona State University, researchers gave three hypothetical child custody cases to participants and asked them to be the judge.

In one case vignette, the mother was the primary care giver 75 percent of the time.  In another, the father, and in a third they divided child care equally.  In each case, neither parent wanted equal custody, but were each requesting as much living time with the children as possible because each now genuinely feels the children would be better off mostly in their care and not so much in the care of the other parent.

Surprisingly, most decided that timesharing should be equally divided in all three cases.  However, when asked how a real judge would decide, most said that the mother would get more time with the children than the father.  This indicates that the public perception is that courts are unfairly biased toward mother’s rights over father’s rights in custody cases.

/by James J. Gross

Shared Parenting Impacts Tiger’s Game

Following his divorce from his ex-wife Elin, Tiger Woods has failed to win a golf tournament in the last sixteen months.

But Woods isn’t playing golf all that much.  He’s only competed in ten tournaments this year, which isn’t a lot for a professional golfer with the Masters coming up.

There was speculation that he would play in the Honda Classic.  But that was a conflict with his shared parenting time with his three year old daughter and one year old son.

When USAToday asked him why he wasn’t playing more, Woods responded, “Because I have a family. I’m divorced.  If you’ve been divorced with kids, then you would understand.”

/by James J. Gross

Maryland Considers Joint Custody Presumption

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House Bill 1132, if passed, would establish a presumption in favor of joint custody for children in Maryland.   The Judiciary Committee of the Maryland House of Delegates is considering the bill, which would add the following as Section 9-109 to the Maryland Family Law Article:

IN AN INITIAL CHILD CUSTODY PROCEEDING, WHETHER PENDENTE LITE OR PERMANENT, INVOLVING THE PARENTS OF A CHILD, THERE IS A REBUTTABLE PRESUMPTION THAT:

(1) JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD; AND

(2) PHYSICAL CUSTODY TO EACH PARENT FOR APPROXIMATELY EQUAL PERIODS OF TIME IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD.

Similar bills have failed before, but they are always hotly debated with strong advocates on either side.  I’m not sure it really makes that much difference in the end in litigation.  With or without the presumption, the judge still decides whether custody should be joint or sole with one parent or the other, based on what the judge thinks is in the best interest of the child.  In settlement negotiations, however, it might replace “every other weekend” as a starting position.

/by James J. Gross