Entries by James J. Gross

Magic Words for a Missed Divorce Hearing

A client missed a hearing in his divorce. Fortunately, it did not affect the outcome of his case.  He said he just forgot to put the divorce hearing date on his calendar.  He was profoundly apologetic. I could have criticized him and added to his misery or said nothing.  But I knew exactly what to say. […]

Can She Change the Child Custody Agreement?

Divorce lawyer Kline liked to be in his office early in the morning before the phones started ringing, clients started filling the waiting room, and the other lawyers started asking him questions. He turned on the Nespresso machine, poured some flavored creamer into his coffee mug, and punched up the next email that looked interesting. […]

Fortnite Cited as Cause for Divorce

Two hundred divorces in the UK since the beginning of the year have cited Fortnight as the reason for the breakup. If you don’t know what Fortnight is, your children can probably tell you.  It’s a highly addictive, time-consuming video game that can be downloaded and played for free on the Internet. My two teensage […]

The Repair Man

The repair man came to fix the washing machine on Friday. He hooked his computer up to it and it told him that the pressure switch was faulty. He didn’t have a pressure switch on the van. So he went to pick one up. On Saturday, the washing machine would not start. I called the […]

A Man and His Dog

“It’s either me or the dog,” a woman in Istanbul told her husband.  The husband had brought the dog and a parrot to their apartment. “We have a baby at home,” she declared. We can’t take care of these animals too.” The man refused to get rid of the animals.  The wife then moved into […]

The Easy Button Divorce

Lawmakers are slowly making divorce easier in Maryland, but you still have to file a complaint with the court and go to a hearing to get a divorce.  Meanwhile, England and Wales have introduced digital divorces.  Couples can apply for divorce online with a few clicks, upload supporting documents and pay court fees. Digital Divorces […]

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Legal Engineer

One of my first tasks as a chemical engineer at the Procter & Gamble Company was to design a tank to hold a chemical called Toluene.  I had to calculate the parameters, like pressure, volume, and flammable temperature.  I was lucky to stumble upon an unused tank on the property that would work and save […]

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The King’s English

When my kids were growing up, we had an inside joke.  Whenever I corrected their grammar or slang, I told them to speak the King’s English. In today’s news, I hear of Trump’s lawyer profanely chewing out a reporter, Samantha Bee apologizing for calling the President’s daughter a profane name, and Roseanne Barr sending a […]